One of my biggest annoyances with the Christian sub-culture is Christian merchandising. Rarely does my wife ever take me into a Christian bookstore anymore for fear that I will embarrass her in front of everyone. The scene usually goes something like this: 

  1. I see some cheesy Christian merchandise that either takes advantage of naive christian consumers (i.e. "Runts" candy taken out of it's box and put into a plastic bag with a scripture verse taped on it, and then charged more than double what it would cost in it's original box), or is just plain offensive (i.e. an action figure Jesus who has "real hand waving action" when you squeeze his legs, complete with 5 loaves and 2 fish).
  2. I take said merchandise to the counter and begin harassing the poor sales clerk, or I just get real loud and begin making a scene about it while everyone in the store tries their hardest to act like they don't see or hear me: "REALLY!? 'Real hand waving action?' Does it also come with real miracle working action? If I squeeze his legs will he wave his hand and these loaves and fish will multiply? Where's the baskets? What am I going to carry all of this extra food in if the toy doesn't come with baskets?"
  3. Kelly chases me down and sternly 'asks' me to quit embarrassing her, while simultaneously apologizing to anyone she thinks I may have annoyed or offended.
  4. Kelly manages to get us out of the store as quickly as possible before any more damage can be done.

That's pretty much a regular scene in our family. Anyway, the other day on Twitter, my brother and awesome guy Josh Via started a the following hash tag: #christiancrapfail, and pure hilarity ensued. Check it out, and add your own to the mix. Be sure to tag it so we can all follow along. Before I go, I'll leave you a short video of one of my all time favorite #christiancrapfail items. One of my daughters found this in an egg at a local church's annual Easter Egg Hunt. It's a suction cup popup Jesus! How appropriate for Easter. "Up from the grave he arose!"

  • Kelly Via

    I love you. I. Love. You. You make me laugh.